Ohhhh JOY!<3

hey y'all!

So within the past two nights i've had all of these ideas running through my mind about what I wanted to write about today. With everything going on in our world I seriously go crazy. From polotics, to our youth, to the shootings at colleges, I get myself so worked up over it and overwhelmed. For a second I thought I would come here to write about the terrible things going on at college campus' lately, but then something spoke to me. I realized that my heart was first lead here to be a comfort zone and to be relatable to young people who may be going through some similar struggles I went through. And that is going to continue to be my desire. With everything else going on in the world, as passionate as I feel about it, I will keep those issues seperate from what I come here to do, which is open my heart to those who may need it.

At church last night my pastor said something that really caught my attention. He said something like...there's a difference between happiness and joy. Happiness comes from the word happens, which means the things around you that are happening is what's making you happy, but when those things go away, are you still happy? If you are, then that is considered joy. Joy is knowing that no matter what happens, and what you deal with on a daily basis, if you have joy, you know in your heart that there may be pain in the night, but JOY comes in the morning.

BOYYYYYY did I have flash backs when he preached that. Joy is something I struggled with deeply. I was happy because of things that made me happy, but it didn't always last. For a verrrry long time I didn't experiene joy.

When I experienced my darkest days, I would wish I didn't have to wake up the next day. Every time I would wake up I would force myself to go back to sleep until I realized what I was living through. Then it would all hit me and I would spend the day in heartache again. It was an ongoing cycle for a while, can you imagine that? Of course with that much pain anyone would wish they could go into a deep sleep and wake up when all the pain was over, right? In fact I would even pray that, I would pray that I could go into a deep sleep and wake up when I didn't have to feel the pain anymore. Obviously God did not answer that prayer, thankfully. Really I had no happiness and for sure I had no sense of joy built in my heart, if I did it could've made all the difference.

I so wish during those days someone would have told me these words which help me to get through my days now, "There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning." That is the way I live and get through my tough times and it has helped me SO much, more than I can explain.

No matter what you're going through, no matter how painful your heartache is, no matter what obstacles you may face day to day, you MUST know that the sun will rise the next morning, joy comes in the morning. You are given a chance every day to start fresh and it's all up to you and what you want to do with that new day.

Thinking back on the days where I wished I didn't want to wake up until the pain was over, If that wish had come true I'd probably still be in my painful sleep. If I didn't face my struggles and experience that pain then I would not be where I stand today. I have learned so much about who I am, I've learned forgiveness, how to love, strength, independence, joy, and so much more. If I magically woke up when all the pain was gone I would have never found who I am and who I want to be. I am so thankful that God woke me up and made me face my heartache every day, if it wasn't for that I don't know where I stand today.

I cry thinking about how I used to fall asleep compared to how I'm able to sleep now. Of course my life isn't perfect, there's still work that needs to be done and the past doesn't disappear, so some days do get tough. But now you guys, I fall asleep with joy in my heart, knowing that the pain is only temporary and my joy will be renewed in the morning. That is my light in darkness. After my rough days, I no longer dread the next morning, instead I can't wait for them!

I encourage you, to find that joy. The sun will always rise. If you are in darkness, I promise when you find your joy you will smile at the thought of mornings. :) I hope thise helps.

As I will always hold onto this and I will pass it onto anyone who needs to know... There may be pain in the night, but JOY comes in the morning. <3