Clap along if you feel...

Hi my friends! Ugh, love you guys SO much!

I had a thought pop in my mind as I was driving home, happiness.

I hope you guys know when I come here to write, it isn't to give advice, because trust me, I am nobody to be doing that. 

I come here to write about my experiences and thoughts and hope that at least one person may benefit, smile, or feel less alone because of my words and my personal experiences.

Okay, sorry, I always feel like I need to explain myself before I get to my main point.

So I was thinking...do what makes you happy. So basic and cliche, it's almost something we've all heard about 1,000 times before, but I think tonight may have been the first time that I have pondered that. Doing what makes me happy.

I have realized that my happiness should be for myself before it is for others. 

I know there are TONS of things that make me happy, but how often do I take the time to do those things when I really should?

So many times I believe doing what others want me to do would make me happy, I think we all know it doesn't work that way.

Happiness is something that people make seem so simple, but for me it may be one of the hardest things to focus on.

I think about times in the past where I have been unhappy, down, sad, angry, hurt, depressed, anxious. Then I think about what I did to fix that, and it was nothing, because I was afraid. I worked harder to make others happy, which only dug me in a deeper hole.

Of course, family and friends make me happier than anything else living ever could. 

Seeing my baby sister laugh gives me all the joy I could ever ask for.

Seeing my other little sister serve the Lord in tremendous ways makes me so  proud. 

Seeing the love shared between my parents is more than anything I could ever ask for. 

But these are things I see daily, and sometimes life blinds me from those moments.

I know things that make me happy. And when I think about what holds me back from those things, all the roots come back to myself.

The smallest, simplest example, is playing ball. Playing softball is something that brings out a feeling in me that most things cannot. When I throw that ball, rushes of childhood memories come to mind. 

But ask me, when the last time I went out to the fields to throw a ball? 

Maybe 2 summers ago, do you KNOW how long I have been searching for that happiness?! Probably since two summers ago! 

That's simple, there are so many more things. But basically, I just want to encourage you, and myself, to go out and practice the things that make you happy. When you find the reasons that are holding you back, I'm sure they all start with YOU. 

Don't let others, or road blocks in life determine what makes you happy, you know what makes you happy, so go do that with your entire heart. And maybe even while doing that, you'll find more things.

Of course life can't be lived throwing softballs all day, but that can definitely make your heart whole.

I hope this makes sense, and I hope you guys can relate. Please share with me what makes you happy, and maybe we can practice it together! I know when I find myself in dark places I'll read this over and I hope it will encourage me, and I hope it encourages you. In fact, meet me at the softball fields pronto, with a glove and a bat, I could definitely catch some happiness right now ;)

Thank you for reading, I hope you remind yourself of what makes you happy. Before you can serve others, happiness comes from a happy heart. 

Till next time!<3