Forever

HI MY FRIENDS!!!!!

Ohhhhhhhhh, how I have missed this place!

I have been itching to come and write, but I did not want to come here without praying for direction first and I feel like right now is the moment for me.

I'll catch y'all up on some feelings.

If you follow my blog, you will know that I struggle with my weight and the way my body looks. About a year ago I did an updated post about finally gaining some weight and becoming happier and healthier with myself. Yes, that was true, but at that time I still weight only a couple pounds over 100, which is not much.

I still had insecure feelings about how skinny I was and I was starting to obsess over how I could not seem to gain weight.

Well, recently, that has all changed. I AM A CHUBBY BUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Totally kidding, but I have finally put on some healthy weight, I like to call it my happy weight. Everyone knows I am finally filling in because I am happy. I am almost 15 pounds heavier, it's almost time for a diet ;)

About being happy, that I am. Wow you guys, I can't even explain it. I have worked on this for so long. And I did have it. When I told you guys in my recent posts over the last year, I truly was happy. But now, things have changed. I truly am experiencing laughs, smiles, and a change of heart that is completely different than what I have treated myself to before.

I am finally realizing my worth and treating myself to a healthier life.

The best way to explain the feeling...I feel like I have just stepped into a new light.

I struggle with my light in darkness, but now that I found that light, I feel as if I have just stepped into a new one, even brighter than before. My heart is full.

I know I'll fall again, and I'll have my moments, but I will keep strong.

To my loving friends:

Thank you. Thank you for answering my phone calls and listening to me. For wiping my tears away and turning them into smiles. Thank you for keeping my strong in my weakest moments. Thank you for allowing me and directing me to see my own potential and worth. For always having my back and never letting me fall. You guys have been such a great light in my life, especially in these times. I used to hear the worry in your voices on the other side of the phone, and now I can hear the smiles and happiness in your hearts. Thank you for the genuine happiness you have shown for me. My heart has grown so big because of all of you. I will never know how to repay you for everything you have done for me, but I will always do my best. I hope this new light I have stepped into we can all share together!

And to everyone reading. Do not be afraid to love yourself and put your happiness first. We are so young and I believe at this age God can do such a mighty work in us if we cling to him and share his love and joy and happiness with everyone. I want to impact lives, but I have to be happy with my own first. I encourage you to do the same.

The best thing I have learned about my happiness is to truly spend time on finding that. What makes you happy? Spend time finding it. What is your passion? Let that drive you. Who and what are things that make you smile? Surround yourself with those things.

After this, I think everything else pretty much falls into place. And when you find it, never let it go :)

To my greatest friend and loving father, Jesus Christ, thank you for never giving up on me. As many times as I wanted to run away, you never let me. You have always grabbed my hand and pulled me back. I am yours, forever.