Lay Me Down

As this song replays, I cannot stop the sad, yet joyful tears rolling down my face.

Lay Me Down by Sam Smith was MY song for the year of 2015.

This was the song that held me together. When I forgot how filling God could be, this song made me feel like I was not alone.

Going through my break up, Sam Smith's, The Lonely Hour album was my therapy.

But I could not go a day unless I got to track 10, Lay me down.

As soon as the song played, I'd turn the volume all the way up, and go into my own world.

I forgot about everything going on and would sing the lyrcis with so much passion as I cried. Sometime's I'd even throw my hands up, lol it seems silly now, but then it really helped me.

The words fit my situation so perfectly. This song came out right around my break up, and it meant so much to me.

"Yes, I do, I believe that one day I will be where I was, right there, right next to you."

These words gave me hope. It was exactly how I felt. Through everything I had been through I still had hope to be with my person one day. I had hope that love would bring us back together, so with those lyrics alone I felt like I could finally relate to someone.

"You told me not to cry when you were gone, but the feelings overwhelming, that's much too strong."

I would call my person crying, A LOT. He, along with everyone else, told me not to cry.

But how, how did could someone say that when I was experiencing that kind of pain, the only thing I could do was cry. Overwhelming... for sure.

"Can I lay by your side, and make sure you're alright? I'll take care of you."

I remember when I finally was coming to peace with the break up, I had a conversation with my cousin telling her I was just sad because I couldn't take care of him anymore. I wouldn't be able to be there for him, comfort him, encourage him, hold him, all things I loved to do.

"I'm reaching out to you. Can you hear my call? This hurt that i've been through, I'm missing you like crazy."

There came a point where I would call him and cry so much that he would just stop answering. I went crazy...crazy. I couldn't contain myself. All I wanted was to hear his voice and all I heard was his voice mail for a week straight before I gave up. I was devistated and these lyrics, especially, are SO relatable for me.

As sad as this song made me feel, it made me feel a hope as well, and less lonely of coourse. I felt completely lost, like nobody would EVER understand my feelings, until I started to listening to Lay me down every day.

It was hard to listen to, especially if I was driving to work, I would of course get super emotional. But once that stage passed it was my comfort.

I've considered writing Sam Smith, thanking him for this song, and telling him my story. I can relate to his lyrics so much and I wanted to thank him for putting his heart out there so that I did not have to feel like I was alone. I almost think of his music as something that "saved" me from that time in my life, but I know at the end of the day it was all God's work and it always will be.

In August of 2015 I was actually able to go see Sam Smith live with my cousin. A DREAM COME TRUE. I had to fight back my tears SO hard when my song played. Luckily there were girls in front of me who kept putting their hair in my face so it distracted me from my emotions, lol.

This song to this day still means so much to me and it always will. It is my comfort. No song will even bring out so much passion in me for 4:05 minutes that it plays.

It encourages me to continue to write here and put my heart out so that one may not feel alone, just as I did. I hope that I can be a comfort to someone who may be going through some similar things i've been through. And I hope that we can talk and buid each other up. I always do my best to make myself available to anyone who needs a friend to talk to, I needed that so many times.

Also, a quick thought... I know I am a Christian and some may think it's weird that i'm writing about Sam Smith, being that he is gay. But I am not to judge anyone, I am to love. Although I do not agree with the artists lifestyle, that doesn't take away from the love I am able to share and relate through his thoughts and music. I hope Sam finds Jesus one day, he does wear cross earrings so it's a start! :)

Now I am going to take a drive and bump Lay Me Down while I sing at the top of my lungs...

CANNN IIIIII LAAAAAAAAAYYYYY BYYYYYYY YOUUURRRRRR SIIIIIIIIIIIDDEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!