my biggest life lesson

HIIIIIIIIII MYYYYYY FRIIIIIEEENDSSS!

I know it has been a minute. As i've said before, it is hard for me to share something unless my heart is completely in it!

So here I am, to share something that has been tugging on my heart to share with y'all, hoping you'll learn something from my own mistake.

I'll try to make this a LONG story short, but if you know me, you know that's not easy.

I have this friend, we were super close in my younger elementary days and middle school. In high school our crowds changed, we changed, and normally, we drifted apart. Although we drifted, we always knew we had a friend in each other!

And it was so true.

Last year, when I went through all my struggles you guys have read about, I went crying to her house after not speaking to her for years. She was there to comfort me, hold me, and give me words of advice. I was so extremely thankful, knowing that friendship remained and we stood true to our words of "always being there".

So as time passes, we follow each other on social media. I know, social media, the enemy!

She starts talking about some problems she's going through on her social media and of course I wanted to help, I just didn't know how. I sought out advice from friends and family and everyone's reaction was to "LET IT GO", "don't make her problems your problems", "she has to learn on her own".

Not knowing what to do or how to go about it stressed me out like crazy.

Sadly, I chose the easy way out.

I deleted her off the social media so I would not have to hear about her problems.

It is embarrassing for me to even admit to that.

Oh my gosh, even writing this gives me anxiety because I cannot believe I did that. Breaks my heart.

I know that that act was SO unlike me. I was not true to myself by getting rid of her seeing her issues to make my life easier. It is not like me to ignore someone who has a call for help.

A week later I got a text from her, she found out I deleted her when she went to wish me a Happy Birthday. I responded "oh my gosh i'm so sorry. Your snaps misaligned with my values. No hard feelings though". Again, SO not like me.

That broke her. It hurt her feelings so much and she let me know.

At that moment I knew I was not following my heart or staying true to myself in the way I was dealing with this situation. I honestly cannot even explain what was going through my mind, why I said the things I said, or what was causing this. It was just completely out of my character, but it's something I learned from.

I invited her to come over that night so we could openly talk about everything. She came over at 10pm and did not leave until 12am. The conversation was such a relief. I was able to be the listening ear she had been looking for for so long, and I was glad to do that.

I explained how sorry I was to have ignored my hearts calling to help her. We both understood each other and it went so well. I have promised to be a friend, listener, shoulder to cry on, or whatever she needs, whenever she needs!

Through this situation I have learned one of the biggest lessons of my life so far. When God is calling on your heart, don't ignore it. When he calls on your heart is it for a purpose, not for fun. I ignored Gods call to reach out to my friend and he was so faithful that even when I ignored it, he ended up bringing her to my door step. How awesome is that?!

Not everything in life is going to be easy, but are we going to take the easy way out? Is it easier to let our friends go through their problems, instead of offering your love to them? It was one of the hardest things I've done. I'd rather give all my love and time to someone, than make my life easier.

I hope you have learned something from my story. Maybe it stirred something in your heart to reach out to that friend you haven't seen in a while, just to see how they're doing! DO IT! it isn't hard to be a friend. And when life gets rough, you'll see that they are the ones you'll want to be there.

Always stay true to yourself. It is so hard to try to put up a front and act tough. If you have a caring heart, don't ignore it. As cheesy as it sounds, always follow your heart. Always figure out that situation that is tugging on your heart. Even if you ignore it, sooner or later it'll show up. Might as well confront it the first time!

Thanks for reading! <3